Monday, September 8, 2008

And Mom of the Year goes to......

Yes, that would be me. Yesterday my little baby broke her LEG! Can you believe it? I am still in shock over it. It was really a most terrible day for me, one in which I had to wonder if Heavenly Father knew what kind of mom he was sending his precious Makenzie too. Long story short, she fell off my huge bed that morning, which was a pretty bad fall, but surprisingly, didn't break anything then. We got over that. Then about 6 hours later, I took her out into the nice weather to play on this awesome slide we just got. We were laughing and having a great time, when she noticed a puffy dandelion (you know, after they bloom) and she picked it for me. ( I know, how cute and yet it just makes it sting more). After she gave it to me, she picked one for Stanley, our dog, and took it over to his water dish. (She puts all presents to Stanley in his water dish, don't ask me why). Well, his water dish is up a step, which she has gone down and up a hundred times. In her excitement to get back to the slide, she went running off it forgetting it was there. It was almost as if I saw it in slow motion, her coming down full force on her ankle. It just happened to be turned out just enough that it rolled, and then *snap* went the leg bone right above her ankle.
I have never seen my baby be in so much pain. On a much bigger scale I look back today and realize what pain our Heavenly Father must feel when he sees one of us hurting so much and knows that we must endure on our own physically. I ran to her, scooped her up and wanted nothing more than to take that hurt away. She was inconsolable. It the most horrible, helpless feeling I have felt so far in my life.
We took her to the emergency room and they took x-rays, and now she has a pseudo-cast on. We will be taking her to Boise this Friday to see an Orthopedist to put her real cast on, which she will have for 4-6 weeks. My little one can't walk at all. I have to carry her everywhere, which was so hard as first, mentally and physically. She is 30 solid pounds mind you! Today though, just her and I, we curled up on the couch together and watched Care Bears (not my first choice:)) and seeing her laugh and hold my hand brought such a joy to my heart. A joy badly needed after the aching it felt.
I still replay it over in my head every night as I go to bed and it makes me sick to my stomach. I know, in the grand scheme of things, it could have been a lot worse, and heaven forbid, worse could still be to come. But for me, this was life changing. How quickly things can change.
She is in good spirits now (liquid Vicodin can do that to you:)) and has learned that if she can't walk, then she will crawl! She is a good sport. Thank you all for your comforting words. My sister Corinna's words ring in my ears at night when I feel the guilt become over whelming again, "Don't worry about this one that wasn't your fault, there will plenty down the road that you can feel guilty about." :) I am sure truer words have never been spoken.
Our dear friends let us borrow there firetruck that their little boy has. We pushed all our furniture out of the way so she can push herself around a little in our house. It's so cute in a really sad sort of way:) She uses her foot a little more than she should, but the pain meds mask a lot of the pain I think.


Kat said...

OHHHHH Little Monkey! Poor little thing in a red cast - good color choice though. I always knew she had style, now she just needs to learn grace.

Don't feel guilty Crystal. It happens and your punishment is having to carry her aruond for the next 6 weeks. Blah...that's a long time.

Shanna said...

Sorry little girlie! Give her a big hug from me (or a huge one from Ellie)

Don't be so hard on yourself! REally! This is just life, you can handle it.

She will be better soon!

Jennis said...

ya know, ya just never know how your day is going to go do ya?? I honestly don't know how we have escaped such injuries at our house. I agree with your sister at least you had nothing to do with the injury and even if you had in some way(buying the amazing slide?) these things are accidents and we would always avoid them if we could. hind site being 20/20 there are plenty of scarey moments I would change now that I have seen how they end up. Lucas has fallen out of a costco shopping cart right on his head and came up with out a cranial fracture which I was sure I was going to be dragging his bleeding self to the hospital for. sometimes the bad falls produce no injury yet the little things get you hurt. I think it is so bazzarre. sorry baby mickey. (that is going to be my nickname for her by the way) let me know if you hate it. I call my friend sarah's little boy (lief) lee-lee. and she hates it. :) miss you guys. take care. at least she is at home with you there to be the one who scoops her up when she falls, and not with a babysitter or at a day care ya know??